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On my way….on my notebook….
Sepinya hati masih tdk bs mengalahkan lampu2 kota dan padatnya manusia di kendaraan ini….
Ratusan pertemanan sudah dibuat….ribuan hentakan jari sekedar mereply Accept The New Friend….puluhan ribu jabat tangan untuk memperkenalkan diri serta ratusan kilometer langkah kaki upaya membunuh rasa itu ….masih belum bisa juga kutemukan pengganti "dia"……

………hening……
berbagai macam ide, pikiran, kalimat dan paragraf berkelana mencari halaman-halamannya di otakku…..mencoba keras memahami arti mencintai dan dicintai…..
semuanya masih berat sebelah……belum ada keadilan………
bukan keadilan untuk dicintai yang aku minta……….
Tapi…..keadilan tentang pengakuan apa arti MANUSIA buat kita……

intro :
Ajari aku untuk memahami…..
ajari aku untuk merasakan…………
ajari aku seperti kamu…….

…It was like a miracle….

standing here with no one…but feel nice….

too nice to ignore your greatfull life…..just wondering what r u doing now….

well…hoping all good for u….,

gw tau….semuanya ada maksudnya….biarlah waktu yg mebuka satu persatu tabir blur….yg lagi gw jalani…karna smua bakalan indah pada waktunya….

…..it’s hurted much when u can’t share your feeling with anybody else…how many times should i repeat this statement…?

ya the fact…i can’t….it’s not easy as u thought before….

===============================================================

…..the more we are growing up…the more problem we had…..no need  emotion to solve it…but maturity….

………………….life shouldn’t be confusing when you know your way, isn’t it?..but where is the light i need…?why there’s none of words, spoke from my lips?

If only life could be easy
I wish I didn’t have to run and hide….

Tapi, gw ga lari kok…..still stepping my food faced the whole world………..n im still here faced u…..with all of my truly self…

Hell with people thought bout me…

…crushing the media…..

fall down upon  the air….

Im just nothing….just the average girl who’s still standing here….

i might not bring something sweet for you…

i might not have something to be proud of….

im just…..just…  the minority

……..Someplace…19th Of January….

ready to tiring my self,body and mind…think it would b good for me hurting my self than crying all day long…..(silly..but its true)

…will leave you for a while…

just hope that i’ll be fine and in save condition…..

…Hi….. im back….

Like usually, no one could be shared….

Have just arrived from my presentation….haven’t changed my cloth…..lay down upon my bed…….i felt….so tired….tired…till i can not eat for only a snack…..

a few minutes more, will turning u down….

and…the same as before…….

you will accompanied my sleep-time with your freeze circumstances…….

what will happen on me tomorrow…?…

…………………………………………………………………..

standing near by the window…..looking at starr…..wishing i could find what i want

Hi….
dunno why i should meet you here….(LOL)….ye u know i can’t easily share it with anyone rite….?
So how d u do dude…? just fine in a blank-sheet without any words there…..(whut..? getting crazy with the owner…?…)

4get it….just accept my notes..

Boarding-Room, jan 15th 2008-Push(Matchbox20)

Trully, i hate to be AFRAID!!!!!
afraid of all things i have received since i was child……
afraid of being scared with all shock
afraid to hear all those fucking financial things….
afraid of all those silly statement……………
afraid to hide my secret…
I need to run!!!!!!!!..i need to make the new way…………………
don’t leave me lonely here….please…im begging….

…..release me …
im too tired for being in loneliness….playing with my own mind….jumping with nothing to seek…..

…………………………………………………………………………………….

Kenapa, justru gw harus berjuang melawan diri gw sendiri…..???
gw ga mau jadi ‘keras’ begini…..
gw ga mau selalu ada masa lalu……meskipun itu memberikan langkah indah di kedepannya……..
…………………………………………………………………………………….

i have to walk…..but less in powerfull
i want to stand strongly……..but the weakness ..came as the ecstassy…
……………………………………………………………………………………

crossing my finger….
turn of the light……
if i have to fight by my own……who’s going to accompanied me…?

…waktu masih terus berjalan…..semakin cepat…..
im here n nothing to be brought….
standing up…..trying to be strong….
but the real…is empty……..

……A month in Jakarta….

trully making me dont wanna back outside…..

just wanna stay on my comfort zone…..:((

missing u mum…dad….missing ur smell….missing all ur anger…..

missing to look at ur eye…and all u’ve done for home…..

………………………………………………………………….

my route will be longer….just pray that i’ll be back soon mum….

just wanna proof my responsibility 4 u both.

tonite…i do really miss u mum…dad….

can’t reach u…..hope u just fine

A place to recovery…..(8.21pm)

accompanied only with my Accer and……Duncan Sheik…whisful thinking…

How much time will u survive………..Sheik told me..

the answer…still…i dont know….

closing my eyes…

i saw i my self walked through the grass….a pool….. trees…..birds flying arround…..no one there….white cloud between blue sky…..the wind blowing my hair and whispering on my ear….

i do missed sumthing….

dude…what r u doing now?….

can i give all a i have in this only short moment ?

or God do lead me and send u to me as a fragile thing to be cared about?…..

in an opened window…i felt freezy winds..touching my face..hardly felt how you walked upon cold footpath…with mask on ur face just to camuflage your real feeling of life

if God trully sent u 4 me…..i will wrapped u in a warm placentae